Every year a guy friend of mine has a big party the night before Thanksgiving and this year was no different; however, I did not get invited. And, yes, I was offended.
Don't feel too bad for me, though. Because of my outrageous popularity, I was able to find something to do. A couple friends and I hit up the Marshall hotspot - The Fox. Then, we made our way over to Waterloo, for a few drinks at MSP.
While at MSP, I ran into this "friend" that didn't invite me to his party. When he saw me walk past, he yelled out, "What's up?" I was cordial and I gave him a hug. Then he said, "Why didn't you come to my party?"
I simply told him I never got the invite.
Then he realized he's an ass, and started to back peddle. He said that I should know I'm always invited, there wasn't a formal invitation to the party, and he had told one of my other friends (who ended up not going out that night) about the party and expected her to tell me.
Let me explain a few things to everyone out there:
I won't show up a party if I'm not invited.
You can't expect me to show up to a party that I didn't know about if I wasn't invited. While I knew about this specific party, this may not be the case every time.
You can't rely on another friend to tell people about your party.
And don't lie and say that there was no formal invitation sent out when I saw the Facebook invite on another friends page. Yes, I consider Facebook invites formal. When/if I ever get married, you can expect your invitation via Facebook...it's just cheaper.
Later that night, the "friend" that had the party informed me that Drake used to be on Degrassi: The Next Generation. You can see why I'd want to hang out with him, he's capable of stimulating conversation that include tid bits of information like that!
-Crabby Abby
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Daddy
Have you ever accidentally called someone by the wrong name? Sure, it's easy enough. I'm so bad with names I do it just about everyday...today was a little different.
My boss was nice enough to take me out to lunch today. After we finished he put the money with the bill on the table and we simply waited for waitress to take it, then bring back the change.
My boss must have been antsy because he started saying things like "C'mon!", "Where the hell is she?", and "I'm antsy!"
This is when I blurted out, "Dad, calm down!"
Whoops!
After some awkward silence, he asked, "Did you just call me dad?"
I put my head down and mumbled, "Yea..."
And the awkward moment of the day was brought to you by Crabby Abby.
My boss was nice enough to take me out to lunch today. After we finished he put the money with the bill on the table and we simply waited for waitress to take it, then bring back the change.
My boss must have been antsy because he started saying things like "C'mon!", "Where the hell is she?", and "I'm antsy!"
This is when I blurted out, "Dad, calm down!"
Whoops!
After some awkward silence, he asked, "Did you just call me dad?"
I put my head down and mumbled, "Yea..."
And the awkward moment of the day was brought to you by Crabby Abby.
Oh What a Night!
On Saturday night, I did my good deed for the year and was the dd for a bunch of drunk ladies opening weekend of deer hunting...I thought I wouldn't have any fun.
As soon as we found out there were going to be male strippers at a certain bar, we chose that as our first destination.
Walking into the bar, we noticed it was mostly men, which confused us, but we soon learned that the stripper was downstairs...yes, one stripper. We didn't let that bring us down. One great male stripper can be better than 10 mediocre ones.
You're going to think I'm quite the prude, but I actually don't like strippers, porn, even sex shops...just not my style, so I chose to stay upstairs. And my sister was kind enough to keep me company. Thank God! If heard that 65 year old woman belt out Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" while jammin' on her keyboard by myself, you would have found me hanging from the rafters.
Yes there was a live band there which consisted of two AARP members...we believe they were man and wife...seems like everyone finds there soul mate.
Soon after, our friend Amber came back upstairs and informed us she was "kicked out". What??? She said the stripper kicked her out!
Apparently, this particular stripper was very touchy feely. He was up in everyone's space, dancing, rubbing, grinding on them. When he approached amber, she put her hand out and let him know she didn't want to dance. She just wanted to watch. He then sternly pointed his finger at her and said, "You go upstairs."
Apparently, you HAD to participate...who knew? So Amber chose to take her dollar upstairs and put it toward another beer. She didn't seem too upset. However, I do have to say that's just bad business on the stripper's part. In this economy, every dollar counts!
Later, another friend informed us that the stripper was dancing in the storage area of the bar, meaning all of the extra liquor, some extra game machines, and an old pool table were shoved in that room with him. In fact, he was dancing on the pool table and his music was played off of a Fischer Price CD player. This could have accounted for his bad mood. I guess I can't blame the guy for being a little snippy.
-Crabby Abby
As soon as we found out there were going to be male strippers at a certain bar, we chose that as our first destination.
Walking into the bar, we noticed it was mostly men, which confused us, but we soon learned that the stripper was downstairs...yes, one stripper. We didn't let that bring us down. One great male stripper can be better than 10 mediocre ones.
You're going to think I'm quite the prude, but I actually don't like strippers, porn, even sex shops...just not my style, so I chose to stay upstairs. And my sister was kind enough to keep me company. Thank God! If heard that 65 year old woman belt out Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" while jammin' on her keyboard by myself, you would have found me hanging from the rafters.
Yes there was a live band there which consisted of two AARP members...we believe they were man and wife...seems like everyone finds there soul mate.
Soon after, our friend Amber came back upstairs and informed us she was "kicked out". What??? She said the stripper kicked her out!
Apparently, this particular stripper was very touchy feely. He was up in everyone's space, dancing, rubbing, grinding on them. When he approached amber, she put her hand out and let him know she didn't want to dance. She just wanted to watch. He then sternly pointed his finger at her and said, "You go upstairs."
Apparently, you HAD to participate...who knew? So Amber chose to take her dollar upstairs and put it toward another beer. She didn't seem too upset. However, I do have to say that's just bad business on the stripper's part. In this economy, every dollar counts!
Later, another friend informed us that the stripper was dancing in the storage area of the bar, meaning all of the extra liquor, some extra game machines, and an old pool table were shoved in that room with him. In fact, he was dancing on the pool table and his music was played off of a Fischer Price CD player. This could have accounted for his bad mood. I guess I can't blame the guy for being a little snippy.
-Crabby Abby
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Val Kilmer's Best Work
I used to watch this movie all the time when I was little and I just caught it on HBO this morning.
Nerds
Last night my mother came over to work on a project with me. You'll see the final result shortly, I just need to edit a few things together...
Anyway, my mother and I are very similar. We both have the same sense of humor, share a love of dogs, and enjoy going to the movies. If you know me at all, by this description, you'd think we're the same people.
One place we do differ; however, is her love of sweets.
I'm not a big candy girl. I got a bag of candy on my door from my apartment management and I never touched it, but when my mom saw it, she decided she needed some...it's like crack to her.
So last night when she came over, we were laying in my bed watching TV and she "NEEDED" (her words) some candy. So I got her a small box of Nerds that was sitting on my counter.
I learned my lesson. That's the last time I give her candy...this morning I found half of the nerds spread out in my bed.
At least I had a nice snack before breakfast.
-Crabby Abby
Anyway, my mother and I are very similar. We both have the same sense of humor, share a love of dogs, and enjoy going to the movies. If you know me at all, by this description, you'd think we're the same people.
One place we do differ; however, is her love of sweets.
I'm not a big candy girl. I got a bag of candy on my door from my apartment management and I never touched it, but when my mom saw it, she decided she needed some...it's like crack to her.
So last night when she came over, we were laying in my bed watching TV and she "NEEDED" (her words) some candy. So I got her a small box of Nerds that was sitting on my counter.
I learned my lesson. That's the last time I give her candy...this morning I found half of the nerds spread out in my bed.
At least I had a nice snack before breakfast.
-Crabby Abby
Melrose
I'm probably one of the 5 people that watched the new Melrose Place on the CW. I'm well aware that it's not a popular show, but bear with me here.
There is an actor on the show that reminds me of someone...
There is an actor on the show that reminds me of someone...
He plays David on the show, the son of Dr. Mancini from the original Melrose.
For the longest time, I haven't been able to put my finger on it...who is it that this kid reminds me of, and it hit me. His mouth totally makes him look like a young Brad Pitt.
Okay...maybe not.
But he does remind me more of this version of Brad Pitt.
Even his acting reminds me of Brad Pitt. If you don't beleive me, watch the show.
I know what you're saying, "Abby, the rating suck! Obviously it's a shitty show; why would I start watching it?"
To that I say, "I have the first season of the original Melrose and that show is terrible. I'm suprised it lasted more than a few episodes!"
As the show went on; however, it became a staple in "adult soap operas" if you will.
Plus, if you're looking for a guy like Brad Pitt without the whole Angelina dramz, this is the place to find him.
So next Tuesday, I'll see you at Melrose Place, that's where I'll be!
-Crabby Abby
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Facebook Fiasco
This morning I was making the rounds on Facebook as I normally do around 8:30am...I'm sorry, am I supposed to be working at this time?
Anyway, Facebook chat opened up and I was surprised to see the person reaching out to me: Mrs. R.
Yes, Mrs. Robinson, my high school art teacher. I have not seen her since probably my junior year of high school. Although my semester in Independent Ceramics was extremely memorable, we just never kept in touch.
You wouldn't believe how our conversation went, so I will tell you and since I'm trustworthy, you'll believe me:
MRS. R: hello
ME: hello
MRS. R: how are you
ME: Good. Are you still teaching?
MRS. R: yes
(seems pretty normal so far...)
ME: good! I like that...I miss independent ceramics
MRS. R: lol
(okay...never would've thought Mrs. R would use "lol", but whatev...she's a pretty hip lady)
ME: My mom still has all of my crappy pots on a shelf in our downstairs basement
MRS. R: great. i need your help. i'm in a pretty bad situation right now
ME: What's your situation? And what can I do to help?
MRS. R: stuck in london
ME: what??? okay
MRS. R: was mugged at gunpoint
(okay...she has to me messing with me)
ME: Shut up!
MRS. R: all cash and cell was stolen off me. i'm dead serious
ME: okay...what do you need? what can I do? is there someone I can call? who's computer are you on?
(Seriously, who's computer are you on?)
MRS. R: can you loan me few buck to complete my ticket fee until i get back. will def refund
(Okay, this is totally not Mrs. R. She wouldn't say "def", but let's play along anyway and see where it goes. It's a Tuesday and I'd rather investigate this Facebook hijacking than work anyway)
ME: How much and how do I get it to you?
MRS. R: $900 do you know any western union outlet around you. glad i still have my passport
(Yes, that's odd that EVERYTHING would get stolen yet you have your passport. What's odder is that you think I'd know where the F*CK a Western Union is. Does anyone use those???)
ME: I'm sorry, I don't have that kinda money at all
MRS. R: ok ok how much can you afford
ME: not much...I literally have about 20 bucks. Is there anyway you can prove this is you. Sorry, I just have to ask.
MRS R: it ok. if i wasn't the one would i ask you to wire money on my name? we both know i can't get money without a valid IDENTIFICATION. don't worry about the refun. will make it up to you
ME: I honestly don't have the money...I'm dead broke. Is there anyone else you could ask or I could ask for you?
MRS. R: don't bother
(oops, I think I pissed off fake Mrs. R!)
I know what you're thinking, "Abby how did you know this wasn't the real Mrs. R? What if she really needed money?"
Let me explain...
First of all, the real Mrs. R. would probably have never used "lol" or "def". I know I haven't talked to her for a while, but I just can't imagine and woman over the age of say...40 using those terms. My friend Katie just told me she has texted "lol" to her mother for the past month or so and her mom never knew what she meant.
Second of all, the real Mrs. R. wouldn't type so terribly. Either the real Mrs. R. has gone tardy on me since I last remember her, or this is just not her at all!
Third of all, the real Mrs. R. would have never asked me for money! Hello! Don't you think she has some closer fam and friends that probably would have helped her out a lot better than I could?
Although common sense was on my side, I chose to investigate a bit deeper to make sure the real Mrs. R. was not held at gunpoint and stuck in London.
I called someone who knows someone who knows someone who is friends with Mrs. R. You'll be glad to know that Mrs. R. was safe and sound in the greater Madison area getting her nails done with her daughter.
Case closed, bitches!
- Private Investigator Crabby Abby
Anyway, Facebook chat opened up and I was surprised to see the person reaching out to me: Mrs. R.
Yes, Mrs. Robinson, my high school art teacher. I have not seen her since probably my junior year of high school. Although my semester in Independent Ceramics was extremely memorable, we just never kept in touch.
You wouldn't believe how our conversation went, so I will tell you and since I'm trustworthy, you'll believe me:
MRS. R: hello
ME: hello
MRS. R: how are you
ME: Good. Are you still teaching?
MRS. R: yes
(seems pretty normal so far...)
ME: good! I like that...I miss independent ceramics
MRS. R: lol
(okay...never would've thought Mrs. R would use "lol", but whatev...she's a pretty hip lady)
ME: My mom still has all of my crappy pots on a shelf in our downstairs basement
MRS. R: great. i need your help. i'm in a pretty bad situation right now
ME: What's your situation? And what can I do to help?
MRS. R: stuck in london
ME: what??? okay
MRS. R: was mugged at gunpoint
(okay...she has to me messing with me)
ME: Shut up!
MRS. R: all cash and cell was stolen off me. i'm dead serious
ME: okay...what do you need? what can I do? is there someone I can call? who's computer are you on?
(Seriously, who's computer are you on?)
MRS. R: can you loan me few buck to complete my ticket fee until i get back. will def refund
(Okay, this is totally not Mrs. R. She wouldn't say "def", but let's play along anyway and see where it goes. It's a Tuesday and I'd rather investigate this Facebook hijacking than work anyway)
ME: How much and how do I get it to you?
MRS. R: $900 do you know any western union outlet around you. glad i still have my passport
(Yes, that's odd that EVERYTHING would get stolen yet you have your passport. What's odder is that you think I'd know where the F*CK a Western Union is. Does anyone use those???)
ME: I'm sorry, I don't have that kinda money at all
MRS. R: ok ok how much can you afford
ME: not much...I literally have about 20 bucks. Is there anyway you can prove this is you. Sorry, I just have to ask.
MRS R: it ok. if i wasn't the one would i ask you to wire money on my name? we both know i can't get money without a valid IDENTIFICATION. don't worry about the refun. will make it up to you
ME: I honestly don't have the money...I'm dead broke. Is there anyone else you could ask or I could ask for you?
MRS. R: don't bother
(oops, I think I pissed off fake Mrs. R!)
I know what you're thinking, "Abby how did you know this wasn't the real Mrs. R? What if she really needed money?"
Let me explain...
First of all, the real Mrs. R. would probably have never used "lol" or "def". I know I haven't talked to her for a while, but I just can't imagine and woman over the age of say...40 using those terms. My friend Katie just told me she has texted "lol" to her mother for the past month or so and her mom never knew what she meant.
Second of all, the real Mrs. R. wouldn't type so terribly. Either the real Mrs. R. has gone tardy on me since I last remember her, or this is just not her at all!
Third of all, the real Mrs. R. would have never asked me for money! Hello! Don't you think she has some closer fam and friends that probably would have helped her out a lot better than I could?
Although common sense was on my side, I chose to investigate a bit deeper to make sure the real Mrs. R. was not held at gunpoint and stuck in London.
I called someone who knows someone who knows someone who is friends with Mrs. R. You'll be glad to know that Mrs. R. was safe and sound in the greater Madison area getting her nails done with her daughter.
Case closed, bitches!
- Private Investigator Crabby Abby
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