Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
WTF?
Like this one...
Can someone explain to me what this guy has to do with mortgages???
Besides that, he looks totally computer generated. And if that's the case, does he make you want to click on the advertisement? Not me! He makes me want to run in the opposite directions. They could have created something or someone more handsome!
PS...Nice rapist glasses
Product Watch
Yes, it's sausage shaped like a football! Who's excited? This girl! (me)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Twinsies
Spider Tally
Current Spider Tally: 3
01/16/10 - I spotted this one in my bathtub! I was about to get in the shower when I saw him on the side of the tub. He was simply whisked away by the running water. Bye, bye down the drain.
01/14/10 - This was an easy one...I was sweeping my kitchen floor and as I swept away the crap that was under my lower cabinets, a tiny spider crawled out. I simply mushed him with the broom.
01/06/10 - The worst are the spiders you spot when you're completely naked. Now, don't get the wrong idea. It's not like I make it a habit to walk around my apartment in my birthday suit, but I had just gotten out of the shower and removed my towel to get dressed. As I turned to the bed (where my clothes were laying), I noticed a bit of movement out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, a flippin' spider crawling down the wall. He was light brown, almost transperent-looking. I grabbed one of the two cans of Raid I keep in my apartment and sprayed. However, when he fell to the ground, he began to scurry away...he just didn't want to make this easy for me. So I sprayed again. He was defeated.
It's a new year therefore a new spider tally. Last year we ended up with a total of 20 spiders in my apartment, hopefully this year brings less spiders.
12/5/09 - Wow, I went a long time without spotting a creepy crawler, but alas! This morning as I was brushing my golden locks, I leaned my head back and my eyes fixated on a teeny tiny spider on my ceiling. Luckily I was in a position where I didn't have to walk under the disgusting creature to reach my trusty can of Raid. It was glorious! Fumes were sprayed as the 8-legged mutant fell to the gound in a haze of toxic rain. Beautiful.
9/11/09 - When it rains it pours. I went so long without spiders and then I suddenly see one two days in a row! I was getting ready to hop in the shower this morning. I opened the shower curtain and there, in the middle of my bathtub was a little black spider. Easy enough, I just washed that thing down the drain.
9/10/09 - I went for a long time without a spider sighting and technically this one was not in my apartment. However, he was too close for comfort. When I returned home for the evening, there was a spider on the door frame, directly in the middle. I mean, if I would have walked through the door, he easily could have dropped on me. Mind you, this spider was massive...pretty sure he was a turantula! Anyway, I waited in the hallway of my apartment until the spider moved far enough away from the door, I quickly ran inside, grabbed a can of Raid, and sprayed the crap out of that creepy crawler. I then, left his lifeless body in the hallway to serve as a warning to all other spiders. Muahuahuahua!
8/3/09 - This story makes me shiver when I think about it...horrific experience! I went to the bathroom today (you don't need to know the details) and everything went as planned. When I got up, I went to change the toilet paper roll and just to the right of the holder was a giant nasty spider. Was it there while I had my pants down?! AHHHHH!!!
7/9/09 - This morning I moved the garbage can in my kitchen and found two creepy crawlers behind it! It's like they were having a tea party back there. Do spiders hang out together? What were they talking about? "Hey, let's hide back here and scare the sh*t out of Abby." WTF?
7/6/09 - I went for quite a while without finding any spiders in my apartment. However, they planned an attack over the 4th of July weekend because I found THREE! Including a big nasty one in my shower. I almost cried!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Gale Beggy
On January 1st, Melodi Dushane of Toledo, Ohio, decided to ring in the New Year with McDonald's. McNuggets, to be more precise.
At 6:20 AM, Dushane ordered "Chicken McNuggets and other dinner items" at the drive-thru window.
Silly Melodi wasn't aware that McDonald's stopped serving dinner food at 2:30 AM. This dissapointing information put Melodi in a blind rage, transforming her into the Hulk. She leaned out of her car and punched a McDonald's employee in her mouth through the drive-thru window.
After a manager showed up and seperated the women, the Hulk punched the drive-thru window, breaking it.
Dushane has been ordered to stay away from McDonald's
Sunday, January 3, 2010
On my way to work
I was on my way to work today on I-90 toward the beltline...just past the Badger Interchange.
Anyway, a truck had pulled over onto the right side of the road. I assumed he was having some trouble. However, as I got closer to the "gentleman" (and I use that term extremely loosely), I realized he didn't have car trouble at all. The trouble was that he did not have a urinal in his truck. Apparently, the side of I-90 is a good place to tinkle??? WTF?
Furthermore, he didn't even go to the passenger's side of the truck where he's be less visible to those passing by. He chose to go behind the truck and aim into the ditch. Luckily, he was angled in a way where nobody could see any of his naughty parts, but did he really think he was being that sneaky?
Dude, whoever you are, urinating on the side of the interstate is just dumb, furthermore, it's unsafe. Do you really feel secure doing that as cars are "whizzing" by at 65 mph...no pun intended.
Friday, January 1, 2010
FML
MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Genealogy forums - Family history
I decided to upload my pic to MyHeritage.com to see which celebrity most resembles me...I look like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Yes, the guy who coined the word "shart" in Along Came Polly...love my life.
SATC 2
I asked myself, is this a sci-fi movie? With the artwork it makes me wonder if, in this movie, she navigates through Manhattan in a jet-engine disco ball, writing tales of post-apocalypse New York romances. Thoughts?
